The Beginning

The start of my story actually begins not with me, but with my son. He is currently 14 years old, and in his first year of high school this year.

The only time my son has ever arrived anywhere on time, was the day he was born. It was on his actual due date, though he still needed the help of forceps to arrive, as he obviously hadn’t got his shit together even then, and had to be dragged kicking and screaming to greet the world!!

He was blonde and blue eyed, with such a serene face that that nobody would believe he spent the nights screaming with colic and making me wonder about my parenting ability. He smiled early and talked early – a social boy who loved people. And at 14 months when his sister was born, he took her under his wing as “my bubby” and made sure she was looked after by all and sundry.

When I went back to work, my kids started in childcare, where my son thrived (and my daughter didn’t!!). We were told he was bright and intelligent, and his curious questions certainly proved this (how does the water get up into the sky to make rain??). But as he progressed through school, this great potential never seemed to be fulfilled. His teachers were always telling us thast he could do so much better, if he would only TRY!

We go his hearing tested. No issues there. We pushed for the school to get him assessed to look for learning disabilities and similar, but nothing showed up there either. ADHD crossed my mind at one stage, but when I talked to my mother (a teacher, so she should know, I thought), she just said that he did not have ADHD, that it was genetics, pure and simple, as I had been just like my son at school. Anyway, I figured, it would have shown up in the school’s assessment of him. Which it didn’t.

We changed schools. My son suddenly had loads of friends, he discovered a talent for music, and he had a wonderful teacher who caught him up in his areas of deficit, so we breathed a sigh of relief and started to relax. He seemed to be doing fine, after all. And then the downhill slide started again.

He began losing assignment sheets, forgetting commitments, and talking in class. He quit choir on an impulse, which he regretted within a fortnight.  By his final year of primary school, things really took a turn for the worst with the onset of puberty. He began losing his temper much more often, and fights with his sister became a routine occurance. Then “the girlfriend” happened and all his focus was on her. Everything else went by the wayside until it all ended and he discovered the hard way that girls can be bitches!!

High school offered the opportunity for a fresh start, and things looked up initially. Until the wheels fell off again after a term. Lost paperwork, disorganisation, difficulty getting up in the mornings….and I would love to know just HOW he managed to lose his school shoes!! Three times!!

Despair had me asking a psychologist if she could do anything to help my son with his organisation skills. But to my amazement, she suggested testing for ADHD. And lo and behold, my son showed a textbook ADHD profile. Then that comment of my mother’s came back to haunt me…..”he is just like you”….and so MY story begins.